Beyonce May Be Classy, But I’m Not

This Beyonce photo scandal is ridiculous. The fact that people are posting them just to prove they care nothing of the person IN the photo is deplorable. If it were me, I’d hire private investigators to follow the CEO’s of every major website promoting the photos. And then I think you all know what I’d do with that. Once a month. For the rest of their vindictive little lives.

The Gimmicky Games We Play

Can we stop making every product in the world “concentrated?” I get it; your product is stronger, now – thus increasing the amount of uses or washes, or whatever – which is the foundation of your little marketing strategy to increase consumer value. Except you’ve put it in a smaller bottle. And upped the price. AND my washer is also high efficiency. So now I have to put the smallest amount of detergent inside the smallest tray imaginable – which starts to feel a liiiiiittle bit like a lab experiment. “This must be what it feels like to be on CSI,” I’m thinking as I pour meticulously and focus on my breathing to avoid overflow. “All I’m missing is some rubber gloves and a microscope. Or maybe one of those tubular droppers they use for blood testing. Actually, that might be a grea-”  Boom. Awesome. Lab sample’s contaminated. Drowning in solution. Because I did what I always do, which is space off to something more exciting during a really tedious task and forget what I’m actually doing… because I don’t care.

So I consistently pay more for high efficiency ultra concentrated super convoluted wash product – and then pour it like it’s a vodka sponsor at the open bar at Pure Nightclub.

Wait…why am I even doing my own laundry, still?

The worst part is that means the high priced marketing gimmick is effectively improving the corporation’s bottom line.

Ahhh…the wicked webs we weave.

 

Ever tell people about a decision that you’ve made in your life that affects them in no way, shape, or form – and they get really, really upset with you, because they would have done it differently? Every time I turn down a big project or opportunity, someone that’s not me ends up yelling at me like I just ruined their life. I think I’m surrounded by people who would climb inside my body and operate me like a forklift if I let them. Maybe I should manufacture myself as a cyborg and license a product line. That way all you fucks can pretend to be me and save me the trouble.

 

When at Nick Diaz Fight – Don’t Sit Next to GSP

Nick Diaz is one bad dude. In fact – I’m a fan of both Diaz brothers. But watching UFC 137 live was…almost uncomfortable. If you’ve never been to a live UFC fight – the air is electric.  So there was only one thing more intense than watching Diaz literally pick BJ Penn apart:

“I don’t thing Georges is hurt… I think he’s scared.” Pan to Georges…who was in the audience that night. Awwwwkwaaard….

Especially because Georges is such a nice guy, in person.

Nonetheless – caught on video, with Georges’ reaction? Priceless…

http://s1353.beta.photobucket.com/user/BethArringtonPB/media/IMG_0325_zpse368bedd.mp4.html

Thus starts my love affair with UFC 158. (And counting down the days until we can be together….)

Timberlake Brings Sexy Back to Myspace? Unlikely… But LMFAO doesn’t care.

CES Press Conference 2012:

Panasonic and Justin Timberlake joined forces for a Myspace resurrection. It seemed unlikely, then – and I still haven’t seen a huge resurgence, yet. Anyone itchin’ to hop on to Myspace?

Sorry, JT. I want to want what you want. I just don’t.

Video Clip: Timberlake Speaking at Panasonic

http://s1353.beta.photobucket.com/user/BethArringtonPB/media/TimberlakeMyspace_zpsb075c7ef.mp4.html

Fortunately, LMFAO is too busy poppin’ champagne to care about…well… probably anything.

Here’s a peek inside their private performance during the Panasonic/Myspace party at the invite-only event inside LAVO.

Video:

http://s1353.beta.photobucket.com/user/BethArringtonPB/media/IMG_0722_zpsb10bd81f.mp4.html

I send a multiple page analysis on a new client to my team. It starts out “This potential opportunity____” etc etc.

My arrogant as fk executive writes back: “All opportunities are potential.”

I should have told him that I’m so glad he has such a tight grip on the loose interpretation of how appropriate particular adjectives are with certain nouns and that this new skill totally makes up for his lack of efficacy in every other business faculty that actually matters to me.

No?

Intimacy 2.0

“Exploring the relationship between intimacy and technology…”

I didn’t know there was one.

However, to have developed enough subconscious hatefulness to have accidentally dumped as many iPhones and Blackberry’s into the toilet as I have – I suppose one could argue it’s a love/hate loop. That and dealing with 400 text messages in a 24 hour period will probably make anyone want to flush their phone in a nightclub bathroom at 3:00 AM. (Affectionately labeled “crackberry” for good reason.) Let’s see how much further we can envelope ourselves in technology.

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