Tiesto Sky Box in Las Vegas

BOOM.

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For a Tijs video I took of the world-wide super phenom spinning a little Alesso, click here:

http://s1353.beta.photobucket.com/user/BethArringtonPB/media/IMG_0340_zpsdb4a81de.mp4.html

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Drinking “jasmine” tea is potentially the worst thing I have ever experienced. Drinking fragrance? Really? If I wanted my mouth to taste like I sprayed perfume directly into it I would go eat a dryer sheet.

 

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Quote

“He doesn’t like getting hit in the face. Now…what I need you to do – is hit him in the face.”

– a gem from the coaching corner of Jon Jones

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I send a multiple page analysis on a new client to my team. It starts out “This potential opportunity____” etc etc.

My arrogant as fk executive writes back: “All opportunities are potential.”

I should have told him that I’m so glad he has such a tight grip on the loose interpretation of how appropriate particular adjectives are with certain nouns and that this new skill totally makes up for his lack of efficacy in every other business faculty that actually matters to me.

No?

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Intimacy 2.0

“Exploring the relationship between intimacy and technology…”

I didn’t know there was one.

However, to have developed enough subconscious hatefulness to have accidentally dumped as many iPhones and Blackberry’s into the toilet as I have – I suppose one could argue it’s a love/hate loop. That and dealing with 400 text messages in a 24 hour period will probably make anyone want to flush their phone in a nightclub bathroom at 3:00 AM. (Affectionately labeled “crackberry” for good reason.) Let’s see how much further we can envelope ourselves in technology.

Check it out:

Intimacy 2.0

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Quote

“This is my fault… I’ve given him dreams. Before me he had no dreams; he was happy. He didn’t know any bloody better. When I was a young comic all I wanted to do was get on stage, once, and I thought if I did that – that would really be something. Then I did that.. and that wasn’t enough, was it? Then I wanted to get paid for it. Then once I got paid for it and it was a full time job, then I started watching TV like, ‘how’s that prick on TV and I’m not?’ Eventually then they put me on TV and that wasn’t enough, either. I come over to America and now people are talking about me being a movie star. And if I’m not a movie star, you know what I’m gonna do? I’M GONNA KILL MYSELF! I’ve gone further than anyone with my looks or intellect should have ever gone and I’m miserable because of bloody dreams!!! So I gave Billy dreams, man. And that was just wrong.”

– Jim Jeffries, from his hilarious new show “Legit” on FX

JimJeffries

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Hey, Anthony Jeselnik –

Hey, Anthony Jeselnik – your “dark prince of comedy” bit doesn’t fool me for a bit— you’re hot. No matter how many weird faces you make; no matter how hard you push that young Christian Bale in American Psycho angle; no matter how many dry punchlines you deliver with a little almost Christopher Walken flare – there is no hiding that perfect bone structure that (almost) makes me forget how freaking hilarious your insensitive jokes are. You’re like a mix between Justin Bieber and the last Abercombie poster boy that I dated for a flash second. Plus…American Psycho is kind of my thing . . .

Anthony Jeselnik 2

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Fake Names for Real Life

Welcome to my new section: “Promoted to Partner… in Crime.”

This will be the category where my world-wide network of incredible co-conspirators get to shine their brilliant, signature brand of “weird” on this silly little game called life.

Sit tight while we come up with some dubious pseudonyms for my most beloved people on earth.

Quote:

“I only met you one time, but on the off-chance I made it in – I choose {the name} ‘Denver Colorado.'”

Let the fun begin.

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Quote

“It is not necessary to change.  Survival is not mandatory. “

– W. Edwards Deming

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Intro: “You Should Make a Living Spreading Weird and Fun”

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So I am told.  I already pretty much do. And, since those are my two favorite things- I couldn’t think of a reason not to take the advice and expand it further to people I have not yet had the privilege of meeting one-on-one.  Although, there are hundreds of other people who would rather that I didn’t. Things like “lawsuits” and “publicity concerns,” sort of topping the list of reasons why most people prefer that I don’t reveal too much. (Yeah – turns out I’m kind of a big deal. Funny, right? For the blogosphere?) This means I’m not going to be sitting around in a basement somewhere writing hateful letters to production studios about television commercials. I’m going to be thick in the American way of life… pop-culture, big-business, and entertainment – busting all the elephants in the room because I, essentially, have a front-row seat to the idiot-show of global life and business. But with sexier lighting.

Welcome to the fantasy that is my daily reality.

Or maybe I’m making it anonymous just to toy with you. Maybe the clerk at the AM PM down the road from my house really has it all figured out; watching me walk up to the counter, half awake, in a track suit, drinking coffee every day at 5:00 PM.

“What… do you do?” He asks me, drawing out the question and raising one eye-brow.

“Entertainment,” I say, because I can already tell he thinks I’m a stripper.

It’s easier than arguing people’s misconceptions about me to explain I’m cultivating business in Hong Kong and have late evening MMA training sessions. Anonymity is an easy thing to perpetuate, in Las Vegas. The key is to just let everyone believe whatever they want to believe.  Besides- Batman had a mask. Superman had an alter ego. (But so did Beyonce, so I don’t know what that really means anymore.) What do I have? Whatever the fuck I want. The world is mine, bitches.

-Beth Arrington. (Not my real name. But a good one.)

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